Elmore Leonard's Rules Of Writing
From:

1. Never open a book with weather. If it's only to create atmosphere, and not a character's reaction to the weather, you don't want to go on too long. The reader is apt to leaf ahead looking for people...

To:
10. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip...

Invaluable.
Posted by Glenn Hauman on 01.30.03 @ 02:06 PM ET [link]

Gaudi at Ground Zero?
It's so parabolic!.

Posted by Victoria McManus on 01.23.03 @ 12:39 PM ET [link]

Bilbo Baggins! You don't look a day nearer your sell-by date!
http://www.lordofthepeeps.com

For all you pervy peep fanciers out there.
Posted by Glenn Hauman on 01.14.03 @ 11:55 AM ET [link]

Every FanFic Ever Written!
THE BACKSTORY FIC

CHARACTER: Alas, I do not have much of a backstory.
AUTHOR: Now you do!
CHARACTER: ... hooray?

THE BACKSTORY FIC, PART 2

EXTREMELY MINOR CHARACTER: I have no backstory, no personality, and perhaps three lines of dialogue.
AUTHOR: Well, we can't have that.

Now we don't have to read any more-- so please please please, you don't have to write any more! Stop!
Posted by Glenn Hauman on 01.07.03 @ 07:24 PM ET [link]