The Well Tempered Plot Device

Or for a great explanation, genties and ladlemen, Sir Neil Gaiman:

"A thousand years ago, Estragon The Dark Clown, for reasons that will never be adequately explained in this book or its many sequels, placed his power in The Funny Hat of Doom, The Big Red Nose of Darkness, the Wig of Desmond, and the Revolving Bow Tie of Light. It has been written, that only when these four objects come together will a Saviour arise to save Clowntown. You, Beppo, you must take this map (helpfully printed in the front of the book for easy reference) and nip around the book obtaining these four things (each the object of veneration by a different culture, each guarded by very different groups of people) at great cost to yourself and to the supporting cast, and then you must bring them back here."

"Me? But I'm not even a full clown. I'm just a popcorn boy."

"They say the gods smile on popcorn boys, lad. But quick -- the Vladimirian Army approaches across the hills. Winter will keep them penned down, but if you don't bring back those plot coupons by the Spring, it will mean death for all of us."

"And if I do? What then, wise old clown?"

"Then, Beppo, we will still need to find someone to wear the Hat, the Wig, the Nose and the Revolving Bow Tie. Someone who is truly a hero. But who that person will be, I do not know."

"Don't look at me like that. Remember I am but a humble popcorn boy."

"Hey kid -- you're leaving Clowntown a popcorn boy, but you're coming back a hero!"
Posted by Glenn Hauman on 10.25.03 @ 11:36 AM ET [link] [243 Comments]

Quote of the Day
"I love writing but hate starting. The page is awfully white and it says, 'You may have fooled some of the people some of the time but those days are over, giftless. I'm not your agent and I'm not your mommy, I'm a white piece of paper, you wanna dance with me?' and I really, really don't. I'll go peaceable-like." --Aaron Sorkin
Posted by Glenn Hauman on 10.14.03 @ 12:05 AM ET [link] [613 Comments]

Klingon hackers

...I try to imagine what Klingon hacker culture is like based on what's known about Klingon culture in general. For example, it's a man's world on Qo'noS, Chancellor Azetbur's history-making tenure notwithstanding. Most men are warriors at heart, seemingly taking little heed of home life or those things that do not contribute to honor (why do you think Klingon sex is so rough? Klingon women get so little...). One assumes a rough-and-ready, make-do attitude that assumes that bigger-better-faster is at best a waste of time. A Klingon warrior might love to play Quake once in a while (but wouldn't admit it due to a lack of real blood), but would most likely see the 1GHz Athlon in the box being devoted to realtime, near-photorealistic slamming of texture-mapped polygons to be a dishonorable waste of computer resources...
Posted by Glenn Hauman on 10.10.03 @ 10:39 PM ET [link] [254 Comments]

Which SF/Fantasy character are you?
Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You?
Posted by Glenn Hauman on 10.10.03 @ 11:36 AM ET [link] [132 Comments]

More hints for writing SF
A Guide To SF Chronophysics and SF Xenolinguistics. Amazing what you can find when you search for fantasy, exotic and tongue. Eep opp ork ah ah.

Posted by Glenn Hauman on 10.05.03 @ 12:27 AM ET [link] [474 Comments]

Posted by Glenn Hauman on 09.11.03 @ 12:16 AM ET [link] [399 Comments]

Is it too late to become a Fair and Balanced website?
Personally, I think we're just being fair by balancing.

Blah3 has compiled a list of about 800 other "Fair and Balanced" websites here. Dive in.
Posted by Glenn Hauman on 08.16.03 @ 11:53 AM ET [link] [293 Comments]

The Skinhead Hamlet
The language is NC-17, so be warned..

Posted by Victoria McManus on 07.28.03 @ 04:07 PM ET [link] [76 Comments]

sorta like Dream's library.
The Invisible Library. Books that appear only in other books.
Posted by Victoria McManus on 07.17.03 @ 09:44 AM ET [link] [324 Comments]

Monsters on the loose!
First, we have zombies in Columbia:

The last thing Andrea Fernandez recalls before being drugged is holding her newborn baby on a Bogota city bus. Police found her three days later, muttering to herself and wandering topless along the median strip of a busy highway. Her face was badly beaten and her son was gone. Fernandez is just one of hundreds of victims every month who, according to Colombian hospitals, are temporarily turned into zombies by a home-grown drug called scopolamine which has been embraced by thieves and rapists.

And then we have decapitated corpses showing up near Castle Frankenstein:

BERLIN (Reuters) - German police are investigating the discovery of a headless body near castle Frankenstein in Germany, a ruin many see as the inspiration for the novel about the mad scientist who made a monster from body parts.

I was tired of living in a war film, but a horror film is not an improvement. I want a light musical comedy.
Posted by Glenn Hauman on 06.17.03 @ 04:13 PM ET [link] [1739 Comments]

From the Department of Toon Physics...
How Word Ballons Are Formed.
Posted by Glenn Hauman on 05.27.03 @ 12:47 PM ET [link] [80 Comments]